My relationship, is it over ?

September 1, 2015 in Life Coaching

As a relationship coach, I sometimes have to advise couples to do something they hate to hear: break up. It is always just as painful for me as it is for the couple. Some call it tough love. Some call it being cruel to be kind. I call it a jolt into reality.

Very often one or both partners cannot come to grips with the reality that the love and intimacy that had once existed in the relationship is no longer there. We are all creatures of habit. We get used to situations just as easily as we get used to places and people. It is more excruciatingly difficult to break old habits once they become part of our everyday lives. There are times you may know in your gut that the relationship is over, however, change is scary and facing a breakup is something nobody welcomes.

On the other hand, it is much worse when couples’ relationships deteriorate to the brink of disaster and neither of them realizes it. Many of us prefer to go through life wearing rose-colored glasses. We keep pushing the ugly truth out of our mind until we no longer hear it knocking. Seems crazy, doesn’t it? Yet for more couples than you think, it is an everyday reality. So how can you tell if your relationship is over and it’s time to walk away?

1. You are no longer having sex: We are, all of us, physical creatures, like it or not. While sex is not and should not be the be all and end all in a relationship, it is a very important part of any couple’s bond as it invites intimacy. Once sex is gone, it is very difficult to pass off a platonic relationship as a love connection.

2. You are spending less time together: Business trips notwithstanding, if you find yourself more and more apart due to choice, your relationship is on the decline. If you prefer the company of friends to your partner’s, it is time to rethink your situation.

3. You cease communication with each other: If you’d rather call your friend then a partner to discuss a problem at work or a great book you just read, you are losing out on one of the most important parts of a relationship. Once the communication is dead, it is very difficult to resuscitate.

4. You are always fighting: From important issues like whether or not to have children to minutia like how many eggs to have for breakfast, the smallest disagreements turn into huge rows. Life is too short to spend in meaningless spats.

5. You are no longer affectionate: To be sure, there is a huge difference between sex and affection. It is the little expressions of love that make up affection: holding hands, hugging, kissing hello and good-bye, etc. When you no longer want to say to your partner   “I love you,” or if your “I love you” is mechanical rather than heartfelt, it is time to let go.

Here is another clue..we call in the five “A’s” 5 things that should exist in a good relationship !

1. Attention 2. Acceptance 3. Appreciation 4. Affection 5. Allow: Allow your partner to be their “authentic” self

 

 

 

serious or not serious .

September 1, 2015 in Life Coaching

We spend a lot of out lives trying to get everything just right, stressing ourselves out, only to one day see that here is no need to be so uptight.

For sure, a lot of good things start to happen when you seriously get serious about not being so serious..

 

Raising Vibrations

March 26, 2015 in Life Coaching

The Spiritual Law of BLESSINGS

When you bless someone you are invoking the Law of Blessings
and directing divine energy towards them. When this is done with genuine intent, a shaft of Divine White Light is transferred into the person you are blessing. Raising your hand in the direction of the person you wish to bless directs the blessing towards them.

Blessing ushers in positive energy.

Bless your work and it will increase and be filled with joy.

Bless people around you and they will be happy and fulfilled.

Bless your plants and they will grow abundantly.

Bless your home and it will be a place of peace.

Bless your body and it will become a beautiful temple for your spirit.

You can request blessings for others as well as yourself.

Bless everyone and fill them with divine energy and you yourself will be open to the blessings of the Universe …

Be Love ~ Be Light ~ Be Magic

Keeper of the Platinum Ray

Genuine Kindness

March 18, 2015 in Life Coaching

1.       Give with no expectationsIn other words, give with no strings attached. When we give with expectations of something in return, that is a sign our AB is taking the lead. When we expect something in return, that indicates our AB is trying to use kindness to gain the upper hand, thus insulating us from the danger of others taking advantage, or manipulating, us. Giving for display purposes, i.e. for the purposes of being viewed by others as a good person, may have immediate benefits on those to whom you give, but ultimately since it comes from the AB, will not nurture the Divine and genuine. In my mind, authentic giving without expectation leads to receiving without limitation.

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2.       Understand that self-sacrifice often leads to self-sabotageSurely it’s good to give of yourself, right? However, some of the greatest givers have allowed their own lives and families to fall apart. That is a sign that poverty and lack has somehow been programmed in their memory backs as something with which they are comfortable and the opposite as something dangerous (as the example above).  In order to be connected with true Divine kindness, you must first keep your own house in order—adequate (preferably abundant) food, clothing, and shelter. When you sacrifice yourself at the expense of others, you will block the access to true kindness, likely leading to resentment, inner anger, and even jealousy. Another way to look at this is a drowning person cannot help someone else who is drowning.

3.       Practice the Golden Rule

The most familiar version of the Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Certainly, we would want others to be friendly, genuine, and considerate toward us, so it would make sense to do the same to others. Naturally, our AB will warn us that such action can make us more vulnerable. Such warnings are typical characteristics of the AB, which is forever scouring the landscape 24/7 for evidence of things that can hurt us. Don’t trust those warnings and practice this rule and realize we are all in this earth-boat together.

4.       Radiate Kindness

Have you ever described someone as having a “kind face” or say someone has “kind eyes.” I have. When you go through your days, no matter how stressful, maintain an upright posture, a smile on your face, and widen yours eyes (not in a creepy sort of way!). You can check in occasionally by viewing yourself in the mirror of a car, for instance. When you walk down the street envision your eyes sparkling, your face aglow, and your lips smiling. This will attract kindness to you and make your practice easier—more consistent with the Divine within you.

5.       Practice Non-Discriminatory Kindness

I think we can all agree that giving a homeless person a piece of bread or place a shirt on their back is an act of kindness. But what if you saw a millionaire in need of help. Or saw anyone in need of help who you perceived to have more than you or who was more powerful than you? Could you be kind to that person? You see, our AB does have us discriminating as a protective, defensive mechanism. “Why should I help that dude? They don’t help me?” (Hey, remember the first item on this list?!). Or you may be thinking, “They don’t need me to be kind. They can pay people to be kind to them.” You will find that when you follow your Divine instinct for kindness, you will not discriminate. I suspect, also, this practice will draw more kindness in your direction in ways you cannot even imagine.