Life Empowerment Coaching
Barb Skora, Relationship Coach
Give with no expectations; in other words, give with no strings attached. When we give with expectations of something in return, that is a sign our ego is taking the lead. When we expect something in return, that indicates our ego is trying to use kindness to gain the upper hand, thus insulating us from the danger of others taking advantage, or manipulating us. Giving for the purposes of being viewed by others as a good person may have immediate benefits on those to whom you give, but ultimately it will not nurture the Divine. Authentic giving without expectation leads to receiving without limitation.
Understand that self-sacrifice often leads to self-sabotage
Surely it’s good to give of yourself. However, some of the greatest givers have allowed their own lives and families to fall apart. That is a sign that poverty and lack has somehow been programmed in their memory as something they are comfortable with and the opposite as something dangerous. In order to be connected with true Divine kindness you must first keep your own house in order—adequate (preferably abundant) food, clothing, and shelter. When you sacrifice yourself at the expense of others, you will block the access to true kindness leading to resentment, inner anger, and even jealousy. Another way to look at this is a drowning person cannot help someone else who is drowning.
Practice the Golden Rule
The most familiar version of the Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Certainly, we would want others to be friendly, genuine, and considerate toward us, so it would make sense to do the same to others. Naturally, ego will warn us that such action can make us more vulnerable. Such warnings are typical characteristics of the ego.
Have you ever described someone as having a “kind face” or say someone has “kind eyes.” When you go through your days, no matter how stressful, maintain an upright posture and a smile on your face. When you walk down the street envision your eyes sparkling, your face aglow, and your lips smiling. This will attract kindness to you and make your practice easier—more consistent with the Divine within you.
Practice Non-Discriminatory Kindness
I think we can all agree that giving a homeless person a piece of bread or place a shirt on their back is an act of kindness. But what if you saw a millionaire in need of help. Or saw anyone in need of help who you perceived to have more than you or who was more powerful than you? Could you be kind to that person? You see, our ego does have us discriminating as a protective, defensive mechanism. “Why should I help that dude? They don’t help me?” Or you may be thinking; they don’t need me to be kind. They can pay people to be kind to them.” You will find that when you follow your Divine instinct for kindness, you will not discriminate. Practice this and you will draw more kindness in your direction in ways you cannot even imagine.
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2019 Barb Skora